Cheese, Social Media, and Morning Pages

What I’m Learning About Goal Struggles, Consistency, and Accountability

As the seemingly endless stretch of January finally nears its close, this feels like the perfect moment to pause and reflect on the goals I set at the year’s start—to take stock of what’s worked, what hasn’t, and where I might need to course correct. Over the years, as part of a journey to know myself better and create an easier life, I’ve explored different ways of incorporating good habits and reducing or eliminating bad ones. Unsurprisingly, I’ve failed miserably at some and found success with others.

The Cheese Challenge

One of the items on my 25 in 2025 list¹ was to commit to not eating cheese in January. Many people embrace Dry January—abstaining from alcohol for the month—often as a response to overindulgence during the December holidays. While I’m not free of addictions, alcohol has never been my struggle. Cheese, on the other hand, is my Achilles’ heel. Put a plate of it in front of me, and I’ll devour it like someone who has been denied dairy for years. I love cheese. However, if I don’t consume it in moderation, I get headaches, and my skin breaks out. So, I decided to avoid cheese in January (with exceptions for Parmesan as a minor ingredient—because, well, Parmesan).

Cheese in camouflage is still cheese (Photo: Liza Debevec)

I stumbled almost immediately. During the first week, I ate a leftover piece of fancy French cheese from Christmas dinner, rationalizing that it would spoil while I was away for nearly three weeks in January. Later, I succumbed again, eating the cheese from my airplane meal—soft French cheese, my favorite (and the only edible thing on the tray).

For the rest of the month, I stuck to my commitment, save for the cheese in two Bhutanese dishes I tried at my friend’s Cuisines of the World club lunch, where I learned that Bhutan was the land of cheese and chili. (I plan to write more about that Bhutanese lunch in one of the future posts on my new publication²). On my return flight, I resisted the cheese offered and felt oddly proud of myself.

In conclusion, I’d give myself half a gold star for my No Cheese January—I achieved my goal more than 70% of the time (and I still have a couple more days to go).

Morning Pages

Another goal I set was to write morning pages every day for 12 weeks. This practice, developed by Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way, involves 30 minutes of free writing or filling three A4 sized pages³. It’s designed to spark creativity and help overcome writer’s block.

I managed to write morning pages about a third of the mornings in January—far off track. While I’m disappointed, I knew this would be a challenge, given that I spent 18 days traveling and staying with friends in Kenya. Travel always disrupts my routines. On my recent trip I went for an early morning bird watching walk, a visit to the elephant orphanage, and the giraffe rehabilitation center, all of which offered legitimate (and fleeting) excuses to skip writing. After all, opportunities to see giraffes this close don’t come every day, and I knew I’d soon be back home where the only “giraffes” are the cranes at the nearby cargo port—long-necked and stately, but decidedly less alive.

A Young Rotschild Giraffe at Nairobi Giraffe Center (Photo: Liza Debevec)

Though my friends weren’t barging into my room to distract me, my sense of social obligation often took precedence over personal goals. As an Obliger, I’m aware of how easily I let others’ perceived needs derail me. What is the lesson here? When I travel, I need to keep my habit list minimal to avoid setting myself up for failure. And I may need to dig deeper to understand why I put others’ needs first, even when they don’t ask me to do so explicitly.

Health and Wellness Goals

Every year, I set goals to eat more healthily and exercise consistently. And every year, I struggle to follow through.

I want to eat more greens and exercise for 45 minutes at least three times a week. While I occasionally commit to short-term challenges—like a 30-day yoga program—I often drop the habit afterward. Before moving to my current apartment, I had a swimming pool only a short walk away, so I swam for 45 minutes three times a week and even took lessons, but now that the pool is a 30-minute commute, I haven’t gone in over two months. As for eating greens, without a structured grocery list or pre-planned meals, I default to my beloved pasta with little vegetable fiber.

Lessons Learned

Reflecting on these experiences, I see that certain strategies work for me (and might work for you too), though I often ignore them. Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. Convenience is key.
   We’re more likely to stick to habits that are convenient. When my pool was a five-minute walk away, I swam regularly. Now, with a 30-minute commute, procrastination wins. If finding a parking spot at the gym is a hassle, you might skip it altogether.
   

2. Vague goals don’t work.
   Goals like Exercise more or Eat less⁴ are too ambiguous. Specific, measurable goals—like No cheese for 30 days or Go to the gym 50 times in 2025—are more effective. Having clear benchmarks, like SMART⁵ goals, makes success tangible. A simple “don’t break the streak” journal can also help track progress.
   

3. Know yourself.
   Are you an Obliger, Questioner, Rebel, or Upholder⁶? Are you an Abstainer or Moderator⁷? As an Obliger, I need external accountability. This is why I try to commit to publishing on Substack at regular intervals—I hope at least one subscriber will hold me accountable. As a coach, I’ve seen how working with someone neutral—not a friend or partner—can make all the difference in achieving goals. If you feel like you need support with your own habits or priorities, reach out and we can explore how coaching might work for you.

   
   Similarly, knowing whether you’re an Abstainer or Moderator matters. I know I cannot consume social media (or cheese) in moderation—I have to abstain. Put a plate of cheese in front of me, and it’s as if I’ve been starved of dairy for a decade. Similarly, if I check Instagram, I can easily fall into a scroll-hole for an hour. For me, it’s all or nothing. My strategy? I simply don’t buy cheese, and I occasionally delete the apps from my phone. Some of you, however, might be moderators, capable of enjoying just a slice of cheese now and then or logging into Instagram or Facebook only every few weeks. (Oh, how I envy you!)

4. Routine vs. spontaneity.
   I like routine, but as I’ve mentioned, I’m easily swayed by my perception of other people’s needs. Even when others aren’t explicitly asking for my time or attention, I often prioritize their perceived needs over my own. Carving out time to maintain my healthy routines—without letting myself get derailed—is something I still need to work on. What about you? Do you thrive with strict routines, or do you find that spontaneity works better for you?

Smarter goal-setting

Earlier this month, I led workshops to help participants reflect on 2024 and create a vision for 2025⁸. During the workshop, participants brainstormed practical steps to make their individual visions a reality and committed to one small action—a “15% solution” to move closer to their goals.

In my own quest for achievable goals, I recently read about MTO (Minimum, Target, Outrageous) goal-setting in Oliver Burkeman’s newsletter The Imperfectionist. Burkeman writes:

“For any goal you’re aiming to accomplish, this approach involves setting three levels of success: the Minimum, which you’re confident you’ll achieve; the Target, which is realistic but a bit of a stretch; and an Outrageous outcome, which you’d be thrilled and a little surprised if you could manage. (For a writer, these three goals might be a hundred words a day, 750 words a day, and 2,000 words a day.) When you do things this way, abject failure becomes rare; meanwhile, achieving your minimum goal might inspire you to shoot for the target goal, and then maybe even the outrageous one. This is the best kind of stretching yourself. Not because you’ve decided you won’t get to count as an adequate human if you don’t make the grade, but because you’ve already made the grade, by meeting the minimum goal, and now everything else is extra.”

I plan to organize my February using this strategy and will report back on its effectiveness.

Over to You

What works for you? Do you prefer Less/More lists, or do you set specific goals? Are you more spontaneous? What strategies have succeeded or failed for you over the years?

Share your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear them!

1. This is inspired by Gretchen Rubin’s Happier podcast. Read about it here: https://gretchenrubin.com/design-your-year-2025/#List

2. I will be launching a new Substack publication soon and in it I will focus on my work as a food anthropologist in Africa and elsewhere. Don’t worry, you will receive an exclusive invite!

3. Here is a free tool that helps with starting Morning Pages practice https://juliacameronlive.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/basictools.pdf

4. I really love the idea of Julia Rothman’s More/Less lists, but unfortunately they don’t work for me.

5. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely.

6. https://gretchenrubin.com/quiz/the-four-tendencies-quiz/

7. https://gretchenrubin.com/articles/abstainer-vs-moderator/

8. You can find a self-guided exercise on this here.