Three Useful Secrets: How to Change Your Life

August 2025 Edition

In the spirit of experimenting and letting this newsletter evolve with me, I’m starting something new as I enter my second year of writing here.

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Beginning this August, alongside my regular monthly post, I’ll also be sharing a short piece each month with three things that have inspired me or supported my work and life lately: a book, a podcast episode (or YouTube video), and a coaching or facilitation tool.

Some of these “secrets” might already be familiar to you, others may be new discoveries — but I believe all are worth revisiting and putting to use. Think of this as a small bundle of resources to spark reflection, growth, and maybe even a good conversation.

And now, here come this month’s secrets — three things that have inspired me, sparked new ideas, or supported my work and life lately:

This month’s theme: How to Change Your Life

Secret No. 1: How to Change Your Life with the Hoffman Process — a book by Tim Lawrence

A week-long process (or this book version) that can help you release old patterns and reconnect with your true self.

A powerful little book (Photo by: Liza Debevec)

You may have heard of the Hoffman Process, an intensive (and expensive) group program that addresses negative love patterns and helps you develop healthier ways of relating. In this little book — far more affordable than the full program — Tim Lawrence guides readers through examining where they are, clarifying what they truly want, releasing old issues, and adopting new behaviors. The book also explores how we can approach love and enrich relationships with friends, colleagues, and partners.

I was fortunate to do the Hoffman Process in 2018, and followed up with a three-day refresher called Q2 in 2024. The process changed my outlook on life and equipped me with essential self-awareness tools. Like any personal growth work, it isn’t bulletproof and requires regular maintenance through mindful practices:

• Check in with your physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual selves

• Practice daily gratitude and appreciation

When I occasionally fall off the wagon, life feels less meaningful. Just a few days of returning to these habits can help restore alignment with my true self and a sense of purpose.

Even if you don’t have the book, you can explore the Hoffman Process on the Oprah podcast or visit the Hoffman Process UK website.

Secret No. 2: Dare to Lead Podcast — Immunity to Change

Questions that reveal what’s blocking you from change — a guide to closing the gap between intentions and actions.

In this brilliant two-part interview, Brené Brown talks with Lisa Lahey, co-author of Immunity to Change. Lahey and Robert Kegan discovered the “immunity to change,” a dynamic that can block personal and organizational transformation. Their work helps people identify what keeps them from acting on their good intentions.

What I love about this podcast is that Brené Brown shows up completely vulnerable, sharing her own role in the challenges her team faces in achieving the goal that she has set for the team and the company. Lahey coaches her to pinpoint what might be making the situation harder. The key question Lahey asks is:
“What are the things you do and don’t do that work against that goal you just named for yourself.” Listening to Brown having her AHA moment as she admitted to the whole world how she was largely the source of her problem, was very powerful.

I haven’t read Lahey’s book yet, but I’ve listened to this podcast and other conversations with Lahey. I’ve applied these questions to self-coach myself recently on a difficult personal topic, and they’re surprisingly powerful.

Secret No. 3: TRIZ- A Liberating Structure

A facilitation method that uncovers hidden blockers and helps teams and individuals stop doing what doesn’t work.

I first heard of Liberating Structures (LS) while working at CGIAR, when Nancy Wright¹ facilitated a Gender Platform event in Los Baños, Philippines. Later, another LS practitioner ran an event at our Addis Ababa campus. At the time, I didn’t fully understand LS. I actually thought it was some sort of fancy development jargon.

Liberating Structures Menu (Source: https://www.liberatingstructures.com/ls-menu/)

Fast forward to 2020: I was tasked with mainstreaming gender and equality across a large global network. I needed a method that could facilitate meaningful change and the more I looked for something that worked, the more Liberating Structures kept appearing my search results. I decided to contact Nancy and connected me with two brilliant LS practitioners based, Carolina and Fernando², and I completed their online course in virtual facilitation using LS and led a series of successful workshops for our global team.

So, what are these Liberating Structures, you may be wondering?

According to the official website:

“Liberating Structures are easy-to-learn microstructures that enhance relational coordination and trust. They quickly foster lively participation in groups of any size, making it possible to truly include and unleash everyone. Liberating Structures are a disruptive innovation that can replace more controlling or constraining approaches.”

What’s amazing is how simple these structures seem, yet how effective they are at challenging the status quo.

The structure I’m sharing this month is called TRIZ, a three-step process:

1. Make a list of all the ways you could ensure the worst possible outcome for your top strategy or objective.

2. Go through this list and ask: “Is there anything we are currently doing that resembles this item?” Make a second, honest list of all counterproductive activities, programs, or procedures.

3. Review the second list and decide what first steps will help you stop doing what you know produces undesirable results.

Aha! Just like the Immunity to Change exercise, this process reveals things you could stop doing that would improve your situation.

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This is it for this month’s three secrets. I hope you found something new to explore, or were reminded of something familiar that’s still useful.

I hope you enjoyed reading this post. If so, please press like, restack or share with a friend.

I’d love for this to be a two-way exchange: feel free to add in the comments any resources that have been useful to you this month — I’m always keen to learn new things. Also, are you familiar with a resource I have shared and want to share your experience with it? Go ahead, I am curious!

And if one of the resources I share turns out to be especially interesting, or sparks a lot of discussion, I may come back with a deeper dive in a future post.

1. Find Nancy at this link: https://fullcirc.com/

2. Carolina and Fernando’s You Tube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@virtualfacilitation