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Daniel Puzzo's avatar

Just a short comment to say how much of an Oliver Burkeman fan I am, have been for years, and if you haven't already, I highly recommend The Antidote - it's still my favourite of his books. I'd even recommend Help! his first book, which is a collection of some of his columns.

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Mira Dessy's avatar

Such a good post, thank you. I think many of us tend to engage in perfectionist thinking in part because we are surrounded by messages that encourage it. It's nice to be reminded that perfectionism isn't real life.

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Liza Debevec's avatar

Thank you for reading and commenting, Mira.

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Kate Anderson's avatar

Love this post Liza. I’m one of life’s - I’m going to be rubbish at that so I won’t even bother - types OR kill myself to get it ‘perfect’. I was at a seminar yesterday listening to Lucy Wilkinson talk about her small book binding outfit / publishing press and she was talking about the beauty of making mistakes and even publishing imperfect work. It was one of those lightbulb moments.

Photos from the same day each year are a lovely touch too.

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Liza Debevec's avatar

Thank you for reading, Kate. It seems like you fit the perfectionist description. You may enjoy the podcast discussion- I found it really insightful.

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Moorea Maguire's avatar

Your written English is pretty perfect. ;)

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Liza Debevec's avatar

I do run my posts through spellchecking apps to make sure I get rid of typos and check for things like definite vs indefinite articles as those are difficult for me.

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Francis F's avatar

That’s all very fascinating! Thanks for sharing that Liza. Especially what the researcher said on hidden brain. I’m not a perfectionist at all, but I think my daughter is. She is absolutely fantastic at art but is a perfectionist and therefore avoided taking Art GCSE even though she was encouraged to. I always thought it was because she didn’t want to follow the instructions of how to draw / paint as she wouldn’t have always been able to create her own style! But maybe there is something more at play here! Similarly she has piano lessons but had decided not to put herself through the grades / exams! Something to think about

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Liza Debevec's avatar

Thank you for reading and commenting, Francis. As a child, I would get sick on the eve of my sports competition (for whatever sport I was practicing at that time )so that I wouldn’t have to attend/compete. It took me years to realize that that perfectionism was what it was holding me back.

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Francis F's avatar

I think I would have just been nervous, I hated sports day at school. I was in the gymnastic team when younger , and broke my toe running over the vault 🤦🏻‍♀️🫣 that’s how nervous I was. I didn’t care if I came last ! But I actually didn’t , 2nd to last. You may think I did that on purpose 😂 but I didn’t 😅 luckily I had already done the floor routine. Does perfectionism go hand in hand with competitiveness? I’ve not got a competitive bone in my body, which always upsets me , as I don’t feel I strive for anything very much.

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Liza Debevec's avatar

I personally don’t think that perfectionism goes hand in hand with competitiveness. I am only competitive in board games.

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Francis F's avatar

😂😂

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